You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be
miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
----> At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you
wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
----> A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same
thing: "You can have mine."
----> When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to
let her keep him.
----> A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
----> A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to
get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
----> A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
----> Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
----> Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
----> If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to
every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
----> Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through
life thinking they had no faults at all.
----> First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
----> " A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and
toforgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I
pray forStrength I'll just beat him to death "